


Self Depreciation is MY thing, you bitch

by SweetRoyalty



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Making Out, Prinxiety - Freeform, Roman is not trusting on himself anymore, Roman's confidence is hurted, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred, Small mention to sex?, Social Anxiety, comfort make out, cursing, i mean they won't sex explicitly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 17:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20313283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetRoyalty/pseuds/SweetRoyalty
Summary: Thomas is having a hard time because Roman is not showing up anymoreAll Sides are worried about it and it's up to Virgil to try and make him come back.What will he find out? Well see...





	Self Depreciation is MY thing, you bitch

**Author's Note:**

> [WARNING]  
1\. ENGLISH IS NOT MY MOTHER LANGUAGE SO PLEASE BE GENTLE WITH ME  
2\. I KNOW, I HAVE MANY FANFICS UNFINISHED. I'M GIVING YOU AN EXPLANATION LATER  
3\. PLEASE COMMENT WHAT YOU THINK, I LOVE U

After a long time, all Sides have been noticing something weird about Thomas. His lack of creativity was getting stronger every day and of course, that means Roman was doing... Bad... To say the least.  
  
Patton was really worried, it's been so long since the last time he would sit with all of them for breakfast... Or lunch... Or anytime in general. Logan, on the other hand, was kind of annoyed since without Roman around Thomas wasn't sleeping properly and started to create unhealthy habits again. And Virgil? Well... He was overworking. Not only on Thomas but on himself as well. It was kind of a habit to get out of his room to immediately cross with Sir Sing a Lot saying a small "good morning" followed by some mean commentary about how his hair was particularly idiot today (even if he knew he just woke up so he didn't really have time to comb) and his grumpy face while saying "good morning" and trying too hard to not be mean back (which doesn't always work).  
  
Like, yeah they ARE trying to get along after all the issues from when Virgil tried to quit but... Come on, it's funny to tease on him you can't deny it. And this has been their thing for so long, it almost sounds weird without it.  
  
But another thing Virgil and any of them couldn't deny is that it was getting out of control. Thomas needs Roman and they have to do something about it but... The idea they have was... Not really giving Virgil his best feelings.  
  
\- Ugh, why me? Patton, I know you're great and wants the best for Thomas but do you really think I'M the one for it?  
  
\- Please, Virgiiiiil - he said with his usual childish voice tone - Roman is locked on his mind palace all the time and he simply won't listen to me when I go there to talk with him. He even told me to go away, and you know how I feel when someone does it… It doesn’t sound like him at all to be like this.  
  
\- And Thomas is currently incapable of calling for Roman - Logan remarked which made Virgil even more annoyed with Roman, that fucking bastard - So I believe this action really has to come from us alone  
  
\- Look, I'm just saying he didn't want to listen to Patton! What makes you think he will listen to me?  
  
\- Because you inspire him, kiddo! - Patton said placing his hands on his emo child's shoulders and looking around to see if Thomas was there. At this point, Virgil was already used to Patton trying to be his father figure and that wasn't really annoying him anymore. Patton whispered - Remember when we all went to my room? When Thomas was having that problem with moving on?  
  
\- Yeah yeah, I'd really like to not remember about it but sure…  
  
Logan rolled his eyes given by the feelinsy memory and decided to be more practical than his counterpart.  
  
\- Remember what Thomas said about the things Roman created along the way? He said that Roman would never create any of his stories if you weren't there to give him a reason to, which means that if you talk to him you might be able to give him a reason to keep creating things.  
  
Virgil stayed silent for a couple of seconds. He reminded of when Thomas said it but it never made much sense for him before, he didn't think much about it until then or at least he was avoiding to. The idea of he, out of all of them, being one of the main responsible for Roman’s creations makes him feel even more anxious than usual and a type of warming feeling he didn’t want to feel, considering that Roman seemed too busy thinking about himself to even look at the anxious boy like this.  
  
\- Yeah, I... Think he said it... - Virgil frowned nervously - But how am I supposed to give him a reason for it? Whenever I gave him these reasons, it was because of my actions with Thomas's life and I'm already overworking on him right now. What else does Roman need me to do?  
  
\- Well, why don't you ask him yourself, son? - Patton smiled gently, letting go of his shoulders.  
  
Virgil took a deep breath staring the floor then gave them a small shrug.  
  
\- Well, whatever works... If it might take Roman back to help Thomas then I'm willing to do it  
  
\- Good luck, Virgil

He closed his eyes trying to mentalize Roman's room and one more time he breathed in.  
Once he got his breath out, he opened his eyes and noticed that Patton and Logan weren't there anymore and even though he was in a similar spot to where he was before, the place was really different. The white wooden stairs were decorated with a red carpet and fancy details craved on them. The place was covered with paintings and statues (mostly Disney or theater musicals).

"Well, that stupid narcissist better listen to me or else I'm ready to kill", he thought while looking around to see if he was anywhere near. No sight of Roman "He must be in his bedroom then"  
  
He went upstairs looking for where usually is Thomas's bedroom and it didn't take him long. The door was as well-decorated as the rest of the palace with a door nob shiny as gold. Virgil knocked.

\- Roman, are you ok?  
  
There was no response, which made Virgil frown in, strangely.  
  
\- Ahn... Roman? I know you're there, you're not anywhere else in the house  
  
Still no response.  
  
\- Argh, come on I just wanna talk... - he bit his lips trying to take a slow breath - I won't be mean to you, I promise... Or try not to be, I don't know...  
  
The eternal-like silence was not helping  
  
\- Urgh, fine! I will not be mean! No crude remarks, no sarcasm I really just want to talk  
  
No response. The emo boy started to panic.  
  
\- For crying out loud Roman, if you're trying to give me a heart attack I swear to God I'm breaking in!  
  
And just like that, there was no sign of Roman's response making the other one especially... Anxious  
  
"Holy shit, you can't be dead, right?? You're part of Thomas's personality IT'S IMPOSSIBLE for you to die! Even I can't die!"  
  
Virgil knocked one last time  
  
\- Roman, can you PLEASE open your door? Seriously, I'm getting nervous already and I'm not going away like Patton!

Ok, he already begged too much. Without a warning, he opened the goddamn door to Roman's room. Looking around he could see all the Disney posters he imagined there would be, his bed looked like those pretty fancy beds you see whenever you go to Pinterest looking for royal bedrooms (you never do this? Heh, weird) or maybe it might remind you that pretty and gigantic double bed you always bought on The Sims whenever your family had a couple, which is really unnecessary but well Roman is not really minimalistic.

Virgil got in and felt really weird for not seeing him inside his own room but once he turned to close the door he noticed anyone else but Roman with his head laid on his working table and what seemed to be thousands of torn and squashy papers surrounding him.  
  
\- I can't believe this bullshit, you're sleeping?? - he closed the door and tried to shake him up - Princey, wake up!  
  
The prince gave him a tired moaning without opening his eyes, leaving Virgil’s patience on thin ice.  
  
\- You gotta be kidding me, Roman, wake up! - he said shaking him harder  
  
\- Not right now, mommy...  
  
\- I'M NOT YOUR MOMMY, YOU DEGENERATED!  
  
Virgil started to rub his own face strongly, if Roman doesn't wake up he will never know what is wrong with him so there must be a way to wake him up harshly without being rude or weird, even though the idea that came to his mind wasn't actually the kindest way to do it.

\- Oh, brother… Ok, you leave me no choice but I swear you won’t like it…  
  
He leaned close to him and smoothly blew on the prince's ear successfully making him open his eyes in a flash with an obviously scared face only to notice Virgil waving his hand ironically in front of him.  
  
\- Hey! - the, now awaken, Roman pushed the smirking emo boy away  
  
\- Morning, Sleeping Beauty - He promised he’d not be mean with him but hey, Roman didn't know it.  
  
\- What was that?? - he said rubbing on his ear  
  
\- Well, I just thought you'd like to wake up hearing the sound of what's inside your head  
  
Roman rolled his eyes making a grumpy face  
  
\- Hahaha, you're so funny, Virge, now that you successfully ruined my precious beauty sleep would you be a dear and please get out of my room?  
  
\- Ooooh, I'm afraid I can't, Princey - Virgil rested his hand on one side of Roman's chair - Also, do you really call that a "beauty" sleep?  
  
\- I'm beautiful so every time I sleep is beauty sleep, little sunshine!  
  
He smirked, he was happy that his stupid narcissist wasn’t as bad as he thought he would be but… Well, Roman didn’t have to know it.  
  
\- Yeah yeah, right... Anyway, I can see you're having a lot of trouble here - he pointed to the all the papers on the floor, while Roman, nervously, started to push some of them out of his table and some out of his own body - Are you asking Fairy Godmother to help you with this?  
  
\- Are you here only to insult me? I've been receiving your pressure a lot by now without you even appearing  
  
\- Aaand that's the point, Roman, you're not showing up anymore. Even when Thomas tried to call you, you simply never came and I wanna know why. Even Patton tried to reach you but you told him to go away so... - he shrugged - Why? Why are you blocking us?  
  
Roman took a deep breath but this time he wasn’t facing him anymore. He was laying on his table again and for some reason trying to avoid Virgil’s eye contact.  
  
\- Well… I don’t know why you, of all of them, came here then.  
  
The stormy cloud couldn’t resist but laugh again, since he was saying exactly what he said before, which made Roman stare angrily on him  
  
\- What are you laughing on, Hot Topic?  
  
\- Yeah yeah, I’m totally hot, thank you  
  
\- THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT!  
  
Virgil shrugged  
  
\- It’s not like this is the first time you use this same joke on me, Princey… Which leads me to believe that you’re running out of ideas aaaaand… You still think I’m hot – he winked making the other one face away again, his reactions were always fun to watch but it also gave him room to pick the paper under Roman’s arm without giving him a chance to stop him – Now, let’s see what you’re working on…  
  
\- H-Hey! Give it back! Now! – Roman tried to reach it back but Virgil managed to dodge from all his attempts until he decided to sit on the side of his bed and hold the charming prince’s face with his right hand giving him shushing noises while reading it  
  
\- Wow, you always manage to sound fishier and fishier whenever you’re writing a romantic story  
  
Roman gave up growling furiously while sitting next to Virgil and crossing his arms  
  
\- Relax, Princey, relax… I told you I’m here to help – the goth’s eyes ran quickly over the paper and looked at the fanciful side once he got in the middle of the page - Ok, I need to ask this, what on earth gave you the idea to put these 2 characters together?  
  
\- I think they’re cute?? – he said gulping and shaking his feet impatiently and still trying to not look at him – And Thomas created them a long time ago, I just thought they should be used on something!  
  
\- I see… - the anxious guy scratched his neck a little bit trying to find ways to say what he thinks without sounding rude or offensive. He already knew the characters he was using but Roman’s choice was really bugging him and making him feel awkwardly flustered – Don’t you think they’re…. I don’t know… Too different for each other? Like, look at this girl – he said pointing to one of the lines – she’s always so full of herself and independent… and yet you’re trying to match her with this person? – he pointed to the next line – they are always trying to make her feel down and belittle everything she does, why would anyone be with them?  
  
\- That’s-! – Roman stopped himself from yelling and started to face the floor, his face expression was a little bit worrisome – That’s not how I see them at all… I mean… Sometimes… - he took a deep breath nervously – Sometimes this girl can be a little too much, I guess… And even though they do annoy her sometimes they’re right… She is really egoistic and she needs someone to tell her this is wrong, stupid and annoying!  
  
Virgil’s eyes got really wide as he finished talking, what the hell was that??  
  
\- Woah, woah…. Ahn… Princey? Is this bothering you? The characters, I mean?  
  
\- I just want them to be together, Virgil! Like… They simply match to me, they complete each other but still, no matter how hard I try I can’t get the girl to be less stupid and egoistic no matter how hard the other one tries to alarm her and tell that she needs to do what is better for the group and everyone needs her to be there for them and she can’t help them being like this and-  
  
Before he could say anything else he felt a strong and heavy slap on his arm with a loud sound that echoed around the room. The prince felt really angry and after saying a loud “ouch” but when he faced Virgil, even though he wanted to look angry his skin got a little bit paler with the look he was giving him. It wasn’t really a furious look but he was obviously angry and also… distressed? His eyes were staring Roman as if he was ready to rip his throat open but his mouth was shaking nervously. Roman really wanted to ask why the stormy cloud did this but he didn’t, both because he felt like he was going to say it anyway and because he didn’t want the thunder to hit on him  
  
\- I have too many things to say to you, Princey… But before I do, I think I have to ask some questions… - he took a deep breath – The first one is… How personally are you actually taking the girl’s actions?  
  
Roman finally lost his ground. He knew exactly what Virgil was trying to imply.  
  
\- I-I… What do you mean with this?  
  
\- Don’t play dumb, you know exactly what I mean! Spit it out, come on  
  
Virgil was really putting him in the corner, Roman didn't want to answer but he was so nervous he couldn't see many options left so he, defeated, stared the floor again and answered  
  
\- I feel like Thomas inserted too much of my usual behavior on her... And noticing this made me feel distressed because she's obviously the one who has the power to make everything ok but she keeps failing because of her.... - it was difficult to use this word - narcissism... She thinks that the biggest villain is the person who tries to put her in her line but... It is her... All along...  
  
They stayed quiet for a moment that looked like an eternity, Virgil was fighting against his hands shaking by closing them on a fist really strong  
  
\- And that's obviously how I sound to all of you…  
  
The emo boy took a deep breath trying too hard to relax.  
  
\- Never thought I'd live to see you stealing my thing with the self-depressive talk, Roman, I'm impressed… Especially considering how wrong you are...  
  
Roman chuckled over his last affirmation  
  
\- How can I be wrong on it? I always like to annoy all of you... I mean, except for Patton  
  
\- Yeah, except for Patton, he's cool  
  
\- And you all love to remark that... All the time... Especially you, Virgil. At first, I thought it was just to infuriate me but when I saw the description Thomas gave to this character? And I could relate to many things about her? Things that have been there for so much long ago that I couldn't remember anything I wrote... I just thought that maybe if I wrote her being someone better I could actually be a better side to work with but it seems to be just useless... She can't be better for them and I can't be better for you.  
  
\- It IS and always have been just to “infuriate” you, Princey... - Virgil said looking down on the floor, which finally made Roman look at him - You shouldn't take anything I said before seriously, unless if it's something about the team as a whole, not only you. And even so, there are some things I say that are useless so... Filter the things I tell you, ok? You're... - he started to scratch his neck nervously  
  
\- No no, Virgil, you don't have to-  
  
\- No, I will... I want to... When I went away, I saw how difficult it was for you to say something good about me. But even so, you simply took the effort and said all of those nice and... Warm things about me... That was - he took a little bit on his own lip trying to ease up - really... Really amazing. It was the first time I felt important, ever. I never thought you’d be able to say things like that… Well, at least not to me. So now it's my turn to say something about you, ok? Now shush and listen…  
Roman was speechless, he didn’t even know what Virgil was about to say but just the fact that he was trying to do that was… lovely, Virgil couldn’t imagine how warm he was feeling.  
  
\- You’re the embodiment of Thomas’s dreams which is already incredible by itself, like… I can’t imagine him accomplishing half of the things he did if it wasn’t for you telling him to chase them and… And shutting up whatever bad feeling he might have about it. You’re that voice that tells him to take risks and convince him that nothing can be done without facing your fears and telling them they have nothing on what he wishes. And even though it might end up bad or embarrassing, he’s always happy for trying – Virgil looked at Roman giving him a small smile – And you should be really proud of it, I wish I was as helpful as you are, Roman.  
  
Roman found himself fighting against his urge to smile as widely as he wanted to but then out of sudden he simply pulled the emo guy close and gave him the warmest hug he could give to anyone. Virgil felt shocked and froze for a minute, not only because Roman wasn't letting go of him or because that was the first time he ever showed affection to him in a physical way but because... It felt so nice and so good... Usually, Virgil is nervous about hugs or physical contact in general but this time? He didn't want him to let go. He slowly raised his hands and hugged him back, allowing himself to lay his head on his shoulder making his smile get a little bit larger  
  
\- Thank you, Virgil... Really... It was amazing from you, even though you managed to look down on yourself again while trying to make me feel better  
  
They both laughed  
  
\- I told you that self-depressive talk is my thing, never try to steal it again you stupid bastard  
  
Roman took a deep breath holding Virgil even more and again, without a single warning...  
  
\- I love you  
  
\- What? - Virgil frowned his eyebrows, a little bit confused which led to the Disney prince feeling more nervous about what he's doing  
  
\- I said I love you  
  
\- I... Ahn... Love you too? - he tried to ditch the situation out of nervousness, even though he was really hoping that was not what he meant  
  
\- No, I mean... I love you... - he laid his forehead on his shoulder - in a Disney way  
  
\- Oh... Damn... - Virgil buried his face on Roman's shoulder, hoping he wasn’t as red and he imagined he was - Damn it, Princey, I was planning to say it to you now but I wasn't expecting you to actually... ARRRGH you ruined my confession, Roman! Are you happy now?  
  
Roman couldn't help but laugh and hold his adorable emo tighter blowing a small kiss on his shoulder  
  
\- Well, since I stole your thing with self-depreciation you could steal my thing with imagination and pretend I didn't say anything  
  
Virgil rolled his eyes with the suggestion  
  
\- Well, worth the shot... - he let go of Roman and looked on his face, trying really hard to not smile since he's supposed to be angry for ruining his emotional talk - Well, I think I only have one more question... Why did you choose that person to be with her on the story?  
  
Roman gasped dramatically  
  
\- What do you mean?? Are you implying that I picked the non-binary character because their personality has a strong remark of your behavior?? - he placed his hand on his chest with a victimized stance - How dare you to accuse me of such thing?? I'm a prince with very high standards, you know??  
  
"Oh my God, I can't believe this man's bullshit", he thought while getting up and laughing on Roman's fake drama  
  
\- You asshole! - Virgil picked up a pillow, getting on Roman’s bed again, and started hitting his face with it - You're not even trying!!  
  
\- I have no idea what you mean, sweetheart! – he said chuckling while trying to defend himself from the pillow attack  
  
\- Don't call me "sweetheart"! I'm trying to be mad! - he tried to push the pillow on Roman's face but the knight in shiny armor managed to hold it, take it off Virgil's hands and push him to lay on the bed and now he was upon him, holding his writs  
  
\- You're now defeated, Stormy Cloud - he said gently smiling and making their foreheads touch. The now officially proclaimed "Stormy Cloud" chuckled a little bit, with his cheeks starting to blush again but trying to not lose his cool  
  
\- That's a sick villain name, I'm keeping it...  
  
\- That’s literally just the description of your logo, Virge  
  
\- I don’t see your point… Now, can you please release my hands so I can cuddle with you while we're kissing?  
  
\- That's sweet, dear, please do - he did as he asked and finally once they closed their eyes, their lips touched. Virgil held his prince's face between his hands gently cuddling his cheek and his ear. Roman's left hand rubbed his thumb on Virgil's chin before gently move the emo's bangs behind his ear and slightly open his eyes to see his beautiful face. His tongue smoothly moved to Virgil's mouth as he took his waist and pulled him to make both of them sit again. Trying really hard to not break their kiss, Virgil glided to Roman's lap and straddled on him, embracing his dear lover's neck as their kiss grew more passionate.  
  
The prince felt his right leg shaking down to his toes as his hand slipped to the back of his head while his right arm was still on Virgil's waist, tip toing him under the dark coat. The goth boy shivered as his lips started to shake and gave a short and small moan.  
  
\- Oh, fuck... - he said in an embarrassing breathless stance, stopping their kiss but keeping their foreheads together looking needy on his eyes - I love you so much, Ro... I want you to know it... Better than ever...  
  
\- I do now... - he replied with a soft smile - And I love you, equally... Hot topic  
  
He chuckled over the fact he was hearing that nickname again in a non-threatful way, sounding weirdly cute. They rubbed each other's nose seizing their silent company for a few minutes while memorizing every inch of the other's face on this point of view, now so loved by them  
  
\- You know your hand is still on my waist, right?  
  
\- Definitely  
  
\- And that it is really close to my ass, right?  
  
\- Absolutely  
  
\- Don't you have a story to finish?  
  
\- Do you want me to go and finish it now?  
  
Virgil arched his eyebrow over Roman's suggestive question and smiled  
  
\- Well... Whatever makes you feel more inspired

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaand that's it hahaha
> 
> Sorry for the cliffhanger! I might consider write some smut with them someday but only time will tell xD
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did and please comment what you thought and... Give me some english advice? xD
> 
> Bye bye o/


End file.
